When God Wants Us To Be Vulnerable.jpg

 

If you had asked me a year ago what being vulnerable was like, I would have broke down in tears. I was in a place where I didn’t know if I could honestly trust God or not. It seemed to me that we were getting forgotten somewhere in his big plan, and although I’ve only known God to be trusting and wise, I felt so alone and exposed. If you want to view my post from exactly one year ago, go here: How To Trust God.

 

My husband, who had been a baker for around 20 years, decided one day that he just may go back to school. I won’t tell you exactly what I was thinking, but it was along the lines of a couple things: he was crazy, and we were doomed. It was late spring, and he was going through all the hoops to head back to school. When I say all the hoops, I mean changing career paths from being a baker (all he’s known), to being a heavy equipment mechanic! No joke – except I thought to myself, “At least he’s still working with his hands!”. The hoops that he had to go through to get into one of the best programs in the country were insane. I felt sorry for him that he had to do all sorts of testing, physicals, interviews, etc. However, each hoop that he had to jump through gave me a chance to breathe, and I would think to myself, that here was another chance he wouldn’t make it. How terrible of a wife am I, huh?

 

I was used to our life as we knew it. Things weren’t great for us – we have had a lot of financial struggle in the past several years, and to top it off I just went on permanent disability with my Fibromyalgia. Life was what I was comfortable with though. We had a great church, family near by, and amazing friends. Not to mention my husband had a career that he knew inside out.

 

Why Change Now?

I thought over and over again about how life would just be easier if we could just leave everything as it was. One thing that I should mention here somewhere is that my husband is not one to just ‘up and change plans’. He is the stable one, and I am usually the big risk taker. HA! Here was one point where he was actually stepping out of his own comfort zone – for once, and here I was faced with the change I usually seek, and was fighting it! Despite how proud I was of him for taking this risk, and for all the loops he was actually making it through, there were some things to worry about. We would have NO income, have to move to a new province, leave our church, our family and our friends. This was going to be a big problem for me.

 

Move to Where?

It was July when we finally found out that we would indeed be moving and John would be heading back to school. We had one month to do it. Now, if you are one of my American friends, I’ll try to explain our move from the South Coast of British Columbia to Northern Alberta as this: it compares to moving from a city outside of Vancouver, 14 hours (most of them north), across the Rocky Mountains, away to a small little farm town in the middle of nowhere in Northern Alberta. I’m talking NORTH, people! It is still light out at midnight in the summer here! More perspective? Our nearest WalMart and McDonalds are an hour away!

 

Leave What Behind?

If you had been there the very day we were moving, it would have been quite a sight. We had already overloaded our moving truck by several hundred pounds, and needed to either get a bigger truck (not possible), or get rid of some stuff. So here we were, long after dark, unloading and reloading the truck. What ended up getting left behind, was a big pile of stuff on our lawn. Trying not to get too emotional here – but another ‘thing’, or someone I was going to have to leave behind was my 12 year old son. He decided he didn’t want to move so far away, and chose to stay and live with his dad (my ex-husband) in Vancouver. I cannot tell you how hard it was to follow my husband, and support him with his new career, and leave behind my sweet boy. Despite the fear, and heartache (an understatement), I knew God had a plan. Even for Isaiah.

A Year Later…

Vulnerable

Wow. Where do I even start? God is faithful, that’s where. I can trust him and I need to learn to be even more vulnerable. When the hard times hit, and we don’t want to trust where God is leading us, we need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and let him lead. If I had not trusted God last year, I would have had a lot more difficult of a start here. Yet, somehow, through God’s grace, I was able to rest knowing that we would be taken care of. John has done amazing things through his course this past year, and is near the top of the class! We have found an amazing church that has blessed us beyond belief, and have made wonderful, lifetime friends. Isaiah has come to live with us, and we now feel complete as a family. The only thing that has not really been better for us, is my health – but even in that God has used the time that I’ve had on my hands to minister to me through reading and prayer. Having been used to being a work-a-holic for years, it takes so much to be at home by myself all day. Anyway, even in that God has been good to me.

 

Being Vulnerable:

Vulnerability means to be exposed, or to not be guarded. That is hard to do in a world where we feel like we have to cover ourselves at every angle.

 

The more guarded and cautious we are to what he wants for us, the more pain and tearing have to take place. Whereas, the more vulnerable we are to his leading – his guidance, the more doors we allow to open more easily. I wish I had remembered how faithful my God has always been to me, and I wish I had allowed myself to be more vulnerable to his leading. I think I would have seen some amazing miracles a whole lot sooner.

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Image Source: Anna Gutermuth

 

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37 comments on “Being Vulnerable: What God Wants

  1. susan alapan

    wow God is really good.what a wonderful and encouraging testimony. thank you very much for reminding us how to trust in the Lord and to lean on him. John 15:7. Gods best be yours michelle

  2. Hazel Moon

    Wow what an adventure in faith and trust. I am glad your son could finally join you and also that your hubby is top of his class. Change is difficult but with God you can make it. Thank you for sharing your lovely post with us here at “Tell Me a Story.” At: http://letmetelluastory.blogspot.com/

    1. Michelle Stam Post author

      Thanks so much for your comment. Yes, with God we can make it – you’re so right. Even when we think all is lost, he provides a way to make it all work out. Blessings!

  3. Lisa Koster

    Wow! What a story! So glad to hear your son has moved back with you. That had to be terribly difficult leaving him behind. I could really relate to your statment, ” I was faced with the change I usually seek, and was fighting it!” I’ve decided I’m just no good when it comes to change. Usually, I get settled in forever and then God will decide it’s time to move me. Currently I’m the one who wants to move, and I’m having a hard time believing God wants to move me!

    1. Michelle Stam Post author

      Yes, it was so hard leaving him behind, but somewhere I knew it would just be for a season. Thanks so much for your comment, and I pray God will continue to ‘move’ you in the direction he wants – whether you agree or not! Blessings!

  4. Wanda W.

    Michelle such an amazing testimony of struggle and the beauty that we can find on the other side when we trust and obey God’s voice. Thanks so much for sharing with The Friday Five link up. Have a great week.

  5. EssentiallyJess

    So this was exactly what I needed to read today.
    We moved across Australia at the start of the year, and even though we know God was learning us here, things haven’t been anywhere near as easy as we thought they would be. It’s been solo hard to trust God through it all, but what other choice is there?

    1. Michelle Stam Post author

      Yes, it is so hard to just trust Him, but I agree that there just isn’t any other choice. When I look back on all the decisions we had to make, I can see his hand in each of them. By not trusting Him, I believe we just make everything a whole lot harder for ourselves. Blessings! I pray you’ll find peace in your situation. Thanks so much for your comment. :)

  6. Surrounded by the Spirit

    Hi Michelle! What a story! I think this kind of change requires leaps and leaps of faith. And you had to leave your son behind too. You really put your faith in your husband and the Lord. I’m so glad it worked out well
    I find that God usually has to kick me HARD in the pants before I’ll move. I don’t change very easily.
    I hope your fibro is not bothering you too much. My sister deals with it too.
    From The Watered Soul,
    Ceil

    1. Michelle Stam Post author

      Aww thanks for such a nice comment. God has to usually kick me in the pants too, and I even like change! He really has been faithful. Blessings!

  7. Sarah Ann (@faithalongway)

    Michelle,

    Thank you so much for linking to the Saturday Soiree Blog party and hope you’ll plan to be a part of the weekly link-up! I love your writing and know it blesses others as well. Enjoy your weekend!

  8. Farm School Marm

    Great post. I really don’t like being vulnerable, but God can do so much more with me when I am! It is “when I am weak that I am strong” in the Lord!

    1. Michelle Post author

      You are so right, it’s when we’re at our weakest that he is strongest. Thanks for stopping by, and for commenting! Blessings!

  9. Sharita ~7DaysTime (@7DaysTime)

    I so love this, girl. And totally relate. I remember that it wasn’t until I was willing to become vulnerable and submit to God that He was REALLY able to start working in my life in major ways. Thanks for these wonderful and encouraging words! Keep up the awesome work.

    1. Michelle Post author

      Aww, you’re so sweet! Yes, it’s just amazing what God can show us when we get vulnerable enough. Thanks for coming by, and super thanks for the comments!

  10. sarahann1977

    Wow! What a change! But God is so faithful to lead us down the path of the great unknown and asks us to trust Him even when we don’t see the big picture! My husband is at the end of a FOUR YEAR journey back to school and I could do cartwheels and I know how stressful a career change can be on the family. So blessed to connect with you via Twitter! God bless!

    1. Michelle Post author

      Me too! Just loving connecting with new people! wow – a four year journey – how did you do it? Would love to hear your story! Blessings!

  11. Deb @ Counting My Blessings

    I’m your neighbor at Serving Joyfully today. I used to love (at least I thought I did) being a risk taker and making big changes. I’m over that! It’s interesting though through being vulnerable and quiet, I’ve gone places I never imagined . . . and He is always faithful. So thankful your journey has blessed you.

    1. Michelle Post author

      That’s just it! We end up going places we never would have imagined for ourselves. I love that. Thanks for coming by and for letting me know your thoughts. Blessings!

  12. Kim Adams Morgan

    Glad you decided to trust God and your husband. When we say yes to God, we give Him an opportunity to do the most amazing things in our life that we could never imagine or dream of. It is scary, but fear is good sometimes. Good for you.

    1. Michelle Post author

      That’s so true Kim. When we say yes to God, he does things that we would never have chosen for ourselves, and therefore we gain all the more. Thanks for coming by, and commenting. I really appreciate it! Blessings!

  13. kelliwoodford

    Michelle, I think we are living the same life in a parallel universe or something. My husband changed career paths at the end of 2012 after almost 15 years as a minister. We uprooted our seven kids and moved to a new state so he could go back to school. It has been crazy, yes. But like you, I see God’s hand behind and within it all. There is NO WAY I would ever go back if given the chance. This new path has forged our marriage and our trust in God like nothing else. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about vulnerability with God. I feel like I’m living it with you, friend.

    So happy to have you with us at Unforced Rhythms. Do come back.

    1. Michelle Post author

      Thanks so much for that comment – means a lot. I really am encouraged to know someone else has been through what God had for us, and not only survived, but gained. Praise God! Thanks for coming by! Blessings to your family.

  14. Nicole

    This is just beautiful. What a wonderful lesson for all of us. I admire your husband’s courage to follow God’s urging with his career path and I admire you for your willingness to go along for the ride.

    1. Michelle Post author

      Aww thanks! It wasn’t all that easy, it kinda happened one trusting day at a time. My husband’s courage was, and still is amazing. Thanks so much for stopping by, and letting me know what you thought! Blessings!

  15. Sheila (@Pennies_of_Time)

    I so could envision the loading up the truck and having too much! What an incredible journey! Thank you for having the courage to share it. It is always uplifting to see how others have come out the other side of adversity.

    1. Michelle Post author

      Thanks Sheila! The unloading of the truck was hilarious, now that I look back on it! At the time, I was in tears! Thanks for your comment, and for coming by today! Blessings.

  16. Jennifer M. Frisbie

    Oh. My. Word. This was encouraging! I’ve never visited here before but I am so glad that I did. Thank you, Michelle, for sharing this story. So often I want to dig my heels in and avoid the change that’s taking place in our lives but I know that He is faithful. I love hearing stories from others about just how faithful He truly is…

    Blessings!

    1. Michelle Post author

      Oh I am so glad you came by too! More than that, I am glad you were encouraged. And, yes, He IS faithful!! :) Blessings!

  17. Paula Gamble

    Wow! I ‘d call that ruthless trust! What a beautiful story of God’s faithfulness in your lives! Thank you for giving me your link and making yourself vulnerable, Michelle! This is SO encouraging!

    1. Michelle Post author

      Aww, I am so glad you found it encouraging. It didn’t feel so good at the time, but looking back I can see that very faithfulness that you say! Blessings!

  18. Kathryn Shirey

    Love this encouragement today! God’s starting some movements in my life and it’s a bit scary to think about what’s going to change. Thanks for sharing your story and being faithful to the changes God called you to.

    1. Michelle Post author

      Thanks for your comment. If I could encourage you to just go with the flow, and trust that God has you covered – I pray you will feel some peace. Blessings!

  19. Holly Barrett

    Wow! What a year! Thanks for your example of obedience and trust. God never lets us down when we are willing to step out in both! Appreciate you linking up to Testimony Tuesday!

  20. Goodness Ndim

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It is amazing how often we forget to remember God’s faithfulness in hard times, and those are the times we need to lean on him more. Vulnerability is something that’s hard to grasp. If we do not allow ourselves to be vulnerable, our hearts will harden towards God’s voice. Thank you so much for reminding us that it is ok to follow blindly because God knows the plans he has for us.

    1. Michelle Post author

      Thanks so much for your comment. You are so right about our hearts hardening towards God’s voice, unless we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. It’s hard though, isn’t it? Blessings to you today!

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